Twenty Style Principles for Clarity
and Elegance in English

Here are twenty principles, combining insights from E. Legrand’s “Stylistique française” and J. Williams’ “Ten Rules for Writing with Clarity and Grace”:

1. Concrete and Active Subjects: Prioritize specific and concrete subjects that perform actions, rather than abstract concepts or passive objects.

Bad: A feeling of joy filled the crowd.

Why it’s bad: “A feeling of joy” is an abstract and passive subject, making the sentence impersonal and less dynamic.

Good: The crowd erupted in joy.

Why it’s better: “The crowd” is a concrete and active subject that allows visualization of the action, making the sentence more vivid.

2. Precise and Evocative Verbs: Choose verbs that depict the action with precision and evoke sensory images.

Bad: He made a speech.

Why it’s bad: “Made” is a generic verb that provides no information about the manner of the speech.

Good: He delivered a stirring speech.

Why it’s better: “Delivered” is more precise, and “stirring” adds a sensory image that conveys the power of the speech.

3. Quick Main Verbs: Avoid lengthy introductions and place the main verb quickly to clarify the action.

Bad: Considering the current situation, it is important to take action.

Why it’s bad: The long introduction “Considering the current situation” delays the main verb “take,” making the sentence cumbersome and difficult to follow.

Good: The current situation demands immediate action.

Why it’s better: The verb “demands” appears early and emphasizes the necessary action, making the sentence clear and direct.

4. Familiar Information at the Beginning: Start with information known to the reader for easier comprehension and flow.

Bad: A new agreement, which promises to be beneficial for both parties, was signed.

Why it’s bad: The sentence begins with new information (“A new agreement”) before presenting context (“which promises…”), potentially confusing the reader.

Good: Both parties signed a promising new agreement.

Why it’s better: The sentence starts with familiar information (“Both parties”) that helps the reader understand the context of the agreement.

5. Complex Information at the End: Place new or complex information at the end for emphasis and clarity.

Bad: A discovery that could change the world was made by scientists.

Why it’s bad: The main information (“a discovery that could change the world”) is buried in the middle of the sentence, hindering comprehension.

Good: Scientists made a discovery that could change the world.

Why it’s better: The crucial information is placed at the end, emphasizing its importance and making it easier to remember.

6. Subject/Theme Coherence: Maintain consistent subjects and themes in successive sentences for logical flow and understanding.

Bad: Pollution is a problem. A study revealed dangers. Actions are necessary.

Why it’s bad: The subjects change in each sentence, creating a lack of connection and logical progression.

Good: The study on pollution revealed alarming dangers. Therefore, urgent actions are necessary.

Why it’s better: The sentences are linked by the subject “study” and the theme “pollution,” creating logical progression and better understanding of the problem.

7. Concision: Eliminate unnecessary and redundant words for a more concise and impactful style.

Bad: Due to the fact that the meeting was long, we were tired.

Why it’s bad: The phrase “due to the fact that” is redundant and weighs down the sentence.

Good: The long meeting tired us.

Why it’s better: The sentence is shorter and more direct, making the message clearer and more forceful.

8. Controlling Sprawl: Avoid lengthy sentences with excessive subordinate clauses that hinder comprehension.

Bad: The man, who was tall and strong, and who wore a black hat, ran across the street.

Why it’s bad: The sentence is cluttered with subordinate clauses (“who was…,” “and who wore…”) making it difficult to follow and parse.

Good: The tall, strong man, wearing a black hat, ran across the street.

Why it’s better: The sentence is more concise and focuses on the essential information, making the message easier to grasp.

9. Parallel Structures: Use parallel structures to create a harmonious rhythm and stylistic elegance.

Bad: She enjoys reading, writing poems, and music.

Why it’s bad: The elements in the list are not expressed in a parallel manner, making the sentence less harmonious.

Good: She enjoys reading, writing poems, and listening to music.

Why it’s better: The elements in the list are all gerunds, creating a pleasing rhythm and enhancing the impact of the message.

10. Empathy for the Reader: Write with your reader in mind and prioritize their understanding. Avoid jargon and unnecessary complex constructions.

Bad: The exegesis of this text requires a thorough analysis of the author’s stylistic devices and rhetoric.

Why it’s bad: The vocabulary is overly specialized, and the sentence structure is complex, making it difficult for a non-expert reader to understand.

Good: To fully grasp this text, we need to analyze the author’s writing style and figures of speech in detail.

Why it’s better: The language is simple and accessible, and the sentence is structured clearly, facilitating understanding for a wider audience.

11. Minimize “To Be,” “To Have,” “To Make,” “To Say”: Replace these verbs with more precise and evocative alternatives whenever possible.

Bad: He made an effort.

Why it’s bad: “Made” is a generic verb that doesn’t provide a specific image of the effort.

Good: He strived relentlessly.

Why it’s better: “Strived” is more precise, and “relentlessly” provides an image of the intensity of the effort.

12. Linking Verbs: Utilize linking verbs to describe states and qualities rather than “to be” + adjective.

Bad: He is brave.

Why it’s bad: “Is brave” is a simple but static formulation.

Good: He demonstrates bravery.

Why it’s better: “Demonstrates” suggests action and emphasizes the manifestation of bravery.

13. Nouns of Quality: Replace noun phrases with adjectives with nouns of quality to make your writing more dynamic.

Bad: Intelligent people succeed.

Why it’s bad: The sentence focuses on people rather than the quality that leads to their success.

Good: Intelligence leads to success.

Why it’s better: The sentence emphasizes intelligence as the driving force behind success, making it more dynamic and abstract.

14. Alternatives to Cumbersome Passive Voice: Prioritize active voice, reflexive verbs, or action nouns to avoid the passive voice’s heaviness.

Bad: The decision was made by the committee.

Why it’s bad: The passive voice makes the sentence less dynamic and less clear about who made the decision.

Good: The committee made the decision.

Why it’s better: The active voice is more direct and specifies the actor of the action.

15. Limiting Relative Clauses: Replace relative clauses with appositives, participles, adjectives, or independent clauses to streamline sentences.

Bad: The book which is on the table is mine.

Why it’s bad: The relative clause “which is on the table” weighs down the sentence.

Good: The book on the table is mine.

Why it’s better: Removing the relative clause results in a more concise and fluent sentence.

16. Managing Pronouns “He” and “She”: Ensure these pronouns have clear antecedents and avoid unnecessary repetition.

Bad: Peter met Paul. He told him that he had to leave.

Why it’s bad: The second “he” could refer to either Peter or Paul, creating ambiguity.

Good: Peter met Paul and told him that he had to leave.

Why it’s better: Using “him” instead of the second “he” clarifies that Peter is speaking.

17. Alternatives to “This” and “That”: Use more precise and informative expressions instead of these vague pronouns.

Bad: This is important.

Why it’s bad: “This” is vague and doesn’t specify what is being referred to.

Good: This point is crucial.

Why it’s better: “This point” clarifies what is important and improves understanding.

18. Avoiding Preposition Pile-Ups : Reduce the number of consecutive prepositions to enhance flow and clarity.

Bad: He spoke of the importance of the issue of education.

Why it’s bad: The string of prepositions “of” makes the sentence awkward and difficult to follow.

Good: He emphasized the importance of education.

Why it’s better: Removing unnecessary prepositions improves clarity and conciseness.

19. Replacing “-ly” Adverbs: Use verbs, adjectives, nouns, or clauses to avoid adverbs ending in “-ly.”

Bad: He acted courageously.

Why it’s bad: The adverb “courageously” is clunky and lacks precision.

Good: He demonstrated courage.

Why it’s better: The phrase “demonstrated courage” is more elegant and expressive.

20. Alternatives to Adverbs of Quantity: Utilize nouns, adjectives, or verbs to express quantity in a more precise and varied manner.

Bad: There are many books in the library.

Why it’s bad: “Many” is vague and doesn’t convey a specific quantity of books.

Good: The library is brimming with books.

Why it’s better: “Brimming” provides a more vivid and accurate image of the abundance of books in the library.